Skip to main content

He Knows My Name

I admit, since having kids I'm not always clued in to the popular music these days. I don't want to have to listen to kid music all day, so when the kids are in the care I put on Christian music (Air1 to be exact). A new song by Francesca Battistelli really struck a cord with me the other day. The chorus goes:

I don't need my name in lights, 
I'm famous in my Father's eyes. 
Make no mistake, 
He knows my name. 

I'm not living for applause, 
I'm already so adored. 
It's all His stage. 
He knows my name.

There are a variety of reasons why the words touched me so much. Yes, I am singer, but it actually isn't about not being famous musically. It's all about finding my worth in others' opinions of me.

The Naperville Marathon and Half Marathon are this weekend. Back in June, I signed up to run the marathon. I signed up for me, not to impress anyone. As I started my training in July I was already beginning to develop Achilles tendinitis in my left leg. As typical fashion for me, I have a high pain tolerance, so I just ignored the pain and pushed through it. With no rest, no icing, and gradually increasing mileage, the pain just got worse...and moved to other parts of my body. I got to the point where I had IT Band issues in my right leg (not Runner's Knee, but up in my hip where the IT Band inserts) that I couldn't lift my kids, walk up stairs, or even sit comfortably. I took a week off, saw my chiropractor, etc. but it wasn't enough. I altered my training plans, but eventually realized during a super painful run toward the end of September that I wasn't going to be able to run the marathon. It wasn't worth pushing through another 1 & 1/2 months of training and not being able to play with my kids because of pain. So, a day before the deadline to switch, I switched to the Half Marathon. The sense of relief was huge. But, what I didn't expect was the emotional struggle hidden underneath...even though I was doing the marathon for "me," letting people know I was only doing the Half (only -- it's still 13.1 miles!) was very humbling for me. I'm naturally competitive and I kept feeling like I was giving up or wasn't good enough...or that people would think less of me. Then I came across that song. "I'm not living for applause, I'm already so adored." It was my prayer and the desire of my heart. What race I run doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I run a race at all. I am so adored by God as I am.

I don't need to be a professional singer, I don't need to be an amazing athlete, I don't need to be the perfect size, the perfect wife, or the perfect mom. I AM ADORED BY GOD. 

Check out this video for "He Knows My Name." It's a little bit long, but totally worth it:


Those days that I find myself looking for others' approval or beating myself on, I play this song loudly in my car and sing it at the top of my lungs to remind me:

He calls me chosen, free, forgiven,
wanted, child of the King,
His forever, held in treasure...
I am loved.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I'M ENGAGED!!!

Saturday night, on top of the John Hancock building in downtown Chicago, Walter asked me to marry him! I said, "Of course I will." The ring is absolutely gorgeous!! It's exactly what I wanted. (We didn't go ring shopping, but I gave him hints of what I wanted). It's a platinum solitare princess (square) cut one carat diamond. I'll take a picture of it and try to post it for you. It looks like our wedding date is Friday, March 2. I have to double check on some things, but most likely, that is the date. Here's the story: Walter was really low key about everything. We had already planned to go to Chicago that day to the Lincoln Park Zoo. I had never been there and we have a list of things we want to do. So, he picked me up at 11:30am on Saturday. He surprised me with a dozen+ (actually 14) red roses. We headed to Chicago and the zoo. Afterwards, we went to Frontera Grill where I have really wanted to go. It's incredibly difficult to get in, so he had call...
5 comments
Read more

A Legacy of Mothers

In honor of Mother's Day, I've decided to write about the amazing mothers that are a part of my family: 1. Helen Elizabeth Veerman (Grandma Veerman) Most of what I know about my Grandma Veerman are the stories that I have heard. You see, my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimers when I was five years old. All of my memories are a poor picture of the woman she was. Helen Elizabeth (known to her friends as Betty) was an amazing homemaker and cook. She raised five beautiful children (four of them boys -- one of them my dad -- so you know she's a saint ;) ) and had a long loving marriage with Marvin. I know she was an amazing mother, because she raised my dad, who is pretty awesome. :) She passed away when I was 13 and I look forward to when I meet her in heaven and learn who she really is, not the Alzheimers version. 2. May Bright (Grandma Bright) When I think of my Grandma Bright, I think of laughter. Why? Because she was so funny and fun to be around. I...
Post a Comment
Read more

Forgiven and Free

I've come to the revelation that I don't love people (other than my family, which I love fiercely). I'm not trying to be funny and I'm not being mean. I care for people and I genuinely show love and care, but deep down in my sinful, deprived soul, I don't truly love people. Let me explain... I've been hurt a lot by friendships. Numerous times I have let my guard down and tried to be real, just to have those people walk away from me for no reason. So I've put up walls and guarded my heart. I'll share only what is safe, but I struggle to be vulnerable and real. Years ago I went to counseling to help me with being more vulnerable (and my perfectionist nature). I grew a lot and after about a year, I connected with my future husband and allowed my walls to come down. I praise the Lord for him and allowing me to be real. My husband is a gift from God, but I still struggle with my female friendships. Guy friendships always seem to be easier to me. Maybe it ...
3 comments
Read more