Four weeks ago, I partially tore my calf muscle while running. I knew that I would have to take a break from running for around three weeks. As I was telling a close friend of mine about my calf injury, she jokingly said to me, "Don't you go and get fat on me."
Now, to be fair to her, she was secure enough in our friendship and how I look, that she knew it was okay to joke with me, so I wasn't offended. It did get me thinking, though.
You see, not too many years ago, I would have obsessed over that statement and been sent in a downward spiral. I worried that I would gain weight if I went just one day without working out. And on the days I didn't work out, I obsessed about what I could eat. I actually remember driving in my car one day, wondering if I could eat anything if I didn't workout. What?! I was so caught up in the idea of replacing calories when I worked out, that I forgot that calories are needed in order to LIVE. So silly (and don't worry, I ate -- it was just a thought). But it is so easy to get in that boat. I'm sure many of you can relate. So, what changed for me?
On November 20, 2011 I delivered my baby girl, Elise Madeleine, into the world and it changed me in ways I never expected. As I held her little body and prayed over her, I knew that I didn't want her to grow up with the same body image issues that I struggled with. I wanted her to be healthy, but to not obsess. By the grace of God, what had tormented me for years slowly disappeared. I began seeing myself as I truly was -- slender and fit. I stopped being overly dramatic with how I felt in the moment and remembered that it's impossible to gain 10lbs overnight from one meal. ;) It wasn't/isn't always easy, but in the moments when I want to judge myself, I simply close my eyes and pray, "Lord, let me see with your eyes."
My worth is not defined by the size of my clothes or how I feel that day (Praise the Lord!). My worth is defined by a God who created me, saved me, and loves me. If God loves me as I am, who am I to criticize what he has created?
You are loved. You are worth more than the number on the scale. When you struggle with how you see yourself, stop and remember who/what defines your worth.