Today was a hard day. Today we said goodbye to our dog, Midnight. We found out that she had inoperable bladder cancer (TCC). She couldn't even urinate because the tumor was blocking her urethra. On the outside, she appeared fine -- totally the same. But she was dying. And it breaks my heart.
We rescued Midnight in September of 2008 when she was 5 years old. I remember when I first saw her. Not only was she my favorite type of dog (a black lab/shepherd mix), her name was Midnight -- the same name as the dog I had growing up. To me, it was a sign that she was meant for us.
When my son was born in November of 2009, I watched her mothering nature emerge. We had a cat then too, and Midnight would lay in front of the downstairs bassinet when Edmund was in it, making sure that the cat came no where near my baby or the bassinet. :)
In 2010, we discovered a large tumor on her front leg. Turned out it was cancerous and we had to make some tough decisions then. We removed the tumor, but to get the whole tumor and some margins, we had to treat it as an open wound. Every week I would take Midnight and my baby (only months old) to get her bandages changed. Her leg healed great and they were able to get all the cancer!
My kids have laid on, sat on, and loved her. From the time our daughter, Elise, was mobile, she would snuggle up to the dog. She has always cared deeply for her. In fact, this past week at one of Midnight's appointments, Elise sat next to her on the ground to calm Midnight, and pretended to read a book to her.
Midnight was an incredibly loving dog. She was an anxious dog, but she slowly got less anxious. She only barked when people came to the door and preferred to be inside or go on walks rather than play in the backyard.
I pray we were good owners to her. That she felt cared for. That she felt loved. That she understood that we had no choice. I never imagined how much I would miss my dog. I knew she was old and that her time with us was getting short, but it just seemed to happen so quickly.
We love you, Midnight, and we miss you!