I've been watching the reality show "Dancing With the Stars". It's a really fun and classy show that has "stars" learning different types of dances (tango, jive, quickstep, etc.) and then performing them and competeing with one another. It's reminded me how much I enjoy dancing. I think I'm going to look into taking some ballroom dancing and/or swing dancing classes through the local park district. Only thing is, I might need to find a partner.
I've come to the revelation that I don't love people (other than my family, which I love fiercely). I'm not trying to be funny and I'm not being mean. I care for people and I genuinely show love and care, but deep down in my sinful, deprived soul, I don't truly love people. Let me explain... I've been hurt a lot by friendships. Numerous times I have let my guard down and tried to be real, just to have those people walk away from me for no reason. So I've put up walls and guarded my heart. I'll share only what is safe, but I struggle to be vulnerable and real. Years ago I went to counseling to help me with being more vulnerable (and my perfectionist nature). I grew a lot and after about a year, I connected with my future husband and allowed my walls to come down. I praise the Lord for him and allowing me to be real. My husband is a gift from God, but I still struggle with my female friendships. Guy friendships always seem to be easier to me. Maybe it ...
Comments