Skip to main content

He Knows My Name

I admit, since having kids I'm not always clued in to the popular music these days. I don't want to have to listen to kid music all day, so when the kids are in the care I put on Christian music (Air1 to be exact). A new song by Francesca Battistelli really struck a cord with me the other day. The chorus goes:

I don't need my name in lights, 
I'm famous in my Father's eyes. 
Make no mistake, 
He knows my name. 

I'm not living for applause, 
I'm already so adored. 
It's all His stage. 
He knows my name.

There are a variety of reasons why the words touched me so much. Yes, I am singer, but it actually isn't about not being famous musically. It's all about finding my worth in others' opinions of me.

The Naperville Marathon and Half Marathon are this weekend. Back in June, I signed up to run the marathon. I signed up for me, not to impress anyone. As I started my training in July I was already beginning to develop Achilles tendinitis in my left leg. As typical fashion for me, I have a high pain tolerance, so I just ignored the pain and pushed through it. With no rest, no icing, and gradually increasing mileage, the pain just got worse...and moved to other parts of my body. I got to the point where I had IT Band issues in my right leg (not Runner's Knee, but up in my hip where the IT Band inserts) that I couldn't lift my kids, walk up stairs, or even sit comfortably. I took a week off, saw my chiropractor, etc. but it wasn't enough. I altered my training plans, but eventually realized during a super painful run toward the end of September that I wasn't going to be able to run the marathon. It wasn't worth pushing through another 1 & 1/2 months of training and not being able to play with my kids because of pain. So, a day before the deadline to switch, I switched to the Half Marathon. The sense of relief was huge. But, what I didn't expect was the emotional struggle hidden underneath...even though I was doing the marathon for "me," letting people know I was only doing the Half (only -- it's still 13.1 miles!) was very humbling for me. I'm naturally competitive and I kept feeling like I was giving up or wasn't good enough...or that people would think less of me. Then I came across that song. "I'm not living for applause, I'm already so adored." It was my prayer and the desire of my heart. What race I run doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I run a race at all. I am so adored by God as I am.

I don't need to be a professional singer, I don't need to be an amazing athlete, I don't need to be the perfect size, the perfect wife, or the perfect mom. I AM ADORED BY GOD. 

Check out this video for "He Knows My Name." It's a little bit long, but totally worth it:


Those days that I find myself looking for others' approval or beating myself on, I play this song loudly in my car and sing it at the top of my lungs to remind me:

He calls me chosen, free, forgiven,
wanted, child of the King,
His forever, held in treasure...
I am loved.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

We Have a Date!

The wedding date is set: Friday, March 2. I've already booked our church, our pastor, and the reception hall. Whew. I've been busy. Luckily, I already knew where I wanted the reception to be held and since I'm doing a Friday evening, it was easier to book the reception hall. My mom, Kara (my sister and matron-of-honor), and I are looking at dresses this Saturday. How fun! I already found one that I REALLY like online at David's Bridal. So, we are heading there first on Saturday. Jess bought me a wedding planning book -- wow! I had no idea that there were so many things to do! Plus, most people start almost a year in advance and I'm doing it in six months. Oh well. The work is well worth the short wait. So, how am I doing with posting so far? Look, Amanda, two blogs in one week! You must be proud of me. Still no pictures as Walter has been out of town and I don't have a camera. Hopefully, I will have some for you soon.
5 comments
Read more

Lessons I've Learned in Marriage

Yesterday my husband and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary! I'm so thankful for my wonderful husband and God's faithfulness throughout our marriage. To find someone to love and loves you back is truly an amazing thing -- especially when he chooses to love you even at your worst. As in all marriages, there are highs and lows. I wouldn't change a single second of it for I have grown as a person and in my faith through our relationship. However, I wanted to share with you two lessons that I have learned in my marriage: 1. He shouldn't be my everything . Walter is my best friend, my confidant, and I love just being in the same room as him. It's romantic to say that "he's my everything" (which in many ways he is), however, I don't expect him to be my everything. It's an unfair pressure to put on him. My husband needs to be able to hang with his friends and talk with them without constantly worrying about me. And I need to have people that I...
Post a Comment
Read more

Honestly...

I've been thinking a lot about honesty lately, specifically in relationships. For the most part, I consider myself an honest person. When I worked in retail, my customers appreciated that I would give them honest feedback and let them know if something worked for them, instead of just trying to make a sale. I joke around that if you give me a just a little alcohol, you will be sure to know my opinions about any and everything. ;) However, when it comes to people who are close to me, I have a harder time being honest. I can be honest when it doesn't matter -- even when it is with people I consider my friends. I think because there isn't as much at stake -- if they judge me, get mad, or walk away, it doesn't really matter. I know that I was honest and I can move on in my life.  However, with those closest to me, I'm careful to keep things close to me and compartmentalize instead to sharing how I honestly feel. There's way more at stake. Yes, I know that the people...
Post a Comment
Read more